Feelings and a few thoughts

As I sat here updating my blog I had a lot of feelings and thoughts going on that I wanted to share.

Mission time goes by so fast. Things change so quickly and you never know what's going to happen. I started putting in my updates as far back as December giving me the chance to see all that happened from that point to now. It kind of made my heart hurt. I loved my mission so much. There are so many people that I made friends and memories I created that I will treasure forever.

I grew so much more than I ever thought possible. Being on the mission I felt like I had stepped from one world into another. So many things felt so unreal and at times I thought I was dreaming. This felt especially true towards the last few weeks on my mission. I just wanted to wake up from whatever was going on.

I'm grateful for all I learned. For my strong resolve that I now have in the Gospel. My love for it has never been more firm. I learned to not be afraid of who I am and what I've gone through. I watched so many times as I shared my story and how many people it benefited. I never knew how many people I could touch until I went on a mission. I hope to continue to touch lives and to help people continually better themselves and grow closer to Christ.

I'm so glad I chose to serve a mission. That I listened to that call over a year ago to serve God. I'll forever cherish that time.

Thank you to everyone that has supported me and helped me along the way.

I LOVE YOU!

Sydney Hanks aka Former Sister Hanks, 

April 13th 2020 - My Last Weekly

Hello Everyone, 

If you haven’t already heard by now I’m home. I felt it only best to send one last weekly out and to let you know how my week went down. 

I never put it in any of my emails but the thoughts of going home were pretty consistent for a few weeks. I started to seriously weigh my options as things got a bit crazier on the mission. 

Saturday night after conference I finally found myself in a calm state of mind where I could sincerely ask Heavenly Father what I should do. I got the gentle answer to go home. 

Monday, my last p day, was filled with a lot of emotions and phone calls. I asked my parents their opinions on what to do and they encouraged me that it is my choice and to listen to what Heavenly Father had said. I wrote my mission president and received a call from him asking what my decision was. I told him I wanted to go home. I ended up talking with my stake president who encouraged me to stay. I started to consider the option of staying as long as my companion, sister Roberts, was. After my call with him we received word that Sister Roberts would be going home due to her asthma. It was a crazy whirlwind of packing and cleaning. 

Tuesday morning we got the call that sister Roberts flight would be that day. My parents would arrive the following day by car. We scrapped our morning schedule and were in a rush to get things done. The elders took sister Roberts to the airport and I stayed with sister Alo and sister Walker. Picture 1 is of my lovely self in front of a mural by their apartment. It was a fun night of telling stories and singing. 

Wednesday morning I was a ball of nerves anxiously waiting for my parents. They arrived around almost 2pm. Attached is the video. I missed them so much. It was fun maneuvering all my stuff into the car. we did it though. We then commenced the long drive home. We stopped in winemucca and I introduced them to my favorite Mexican restaurant Rolberto’s. So good! I then took over driving and drove most of the way home. My mom took over in tooele. I forgot how beautiful utah is. Loved seeing all the lights. Got home and my sister Emily almost took me down in the driveway, matthew picked me up and swung me around, and ashley was the first to make me cry. I love my siblings so much. Was up late talking with them and a bit overwhelmed. Oh! I got to see my kitty. Missed her so much but she was a bit mad to see me. 

The next few days that followed I'd love to go into detail but also it was just a lot of adjusting and forcing myself to relax. I didn’t think I’d have it but I have a go go go drive. I just want to do everything all at once but I can’t. 

One of my favorite moments though was Sunday and being able to have my brother pass the sacrament. My heart was so full. 

I love you all so so much! I have appreciated the continued love and support I’ve received as I’ve gone through this time. I loved my mission with all my heart. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Keep being amazing! 

Love,

Sister Sydney Hanks but now just Sydney ️

April 6th 2020 - Trying to find Hope among the chaos

Good morning everyone! 

I appreciate the immense support I've felt from last week. I love you all so much. Thank you for all you do. I wish I could say this week was better. 

Monday, Day 13 inside, was PDAY. We ran to the store to get a few things. Came home and was able to reply to emails and call family for a while. Not much else to report that day. 

Tueaday, Day 14, I didnt sleep well the night before so after exercising and planning I fell asleep again for a while. We then recieved some major updates. Our quarantine is (at the moment) until April 30th, our final day to go shopping would be Thursday to get a month supply of things, and Sisters won't be taking the sacrament until may. A lot of things that's for sure. I then had my session with our mission therapist which went really well. We then worked on (don't know if I mentioned it) book of mormon pages were taking out of damages book of mormons, marking up, and sending to people. Joined our ward mission leader, Brother Perry's, institute class. So fun. There were also updates for all the missionaries that had returned home so that was crazy. 

Wednesday, Day 15, I wrote in my journal that I wish I could wake up from this nightmare. Sister Roberts and I spent the morning discussing what we could do for our area because were not having much success which right now is so hard. Talked with some of the other sisters in our zone so that was nice. Filmed a video for our ward on tips for conference. One of our members brought us chick fil a for dinner. So sweet of them. The night didnt really go well and I'm not going to go into much detail with it but it was hard. Long calls comforting our other Sisters. A realization that all this isn't getting much better. 

Thursday, Day 16, my slight glimmer of hope faded a bit. Woke up early and we were out the door for our last time shopping till May. Picture 1 is of the line at Walmart around the building we stood in. insane. We got everything we needed. I bought some new sweats so that was nice. We stopped at Smith's as well and all got cute little squishy stuffed animals. I got a cat. Picture 2 is of it with the yarn I was making a hat with. We came home and sister Roberts had her mission leadership training. I finished listening to saints book one, made a hat, made cookies, and did my best to stay calm awaiting news on what changes might come to help us out. Nothing really. We can watch ONE non church movie from an approved list only on mondays, we are to call 5 people every hour we aren't studying or having a lesson, and no Facebook. That was really hard. Trying to be a productive missionary with little tools. 

Friday, Day 17, bit of a rough day. Woke up with a bad headache. Pushed through the meeting. Had a meeting with president and a bunch of other missionaries. Kind of a pep talk. Went for a walk, lunch, and made another hat. We then couldn't reach the other Sisters for awhile and started to worry. We then got a hold of them and recieved the news they are both going home for medical reasons. It was a hard few hours with a lot of calls rearranging our zone and such. We just keep hearing that from this point on things are just going to get worse so thats terrifying. 

Saturday, Day 18, was okay. Watched conference from our apartment all day so that was interesting. All the announcements were good. I loved the night session though and sister Bingham's talk. 

Sunday, Day 19, was another day of watching conference. So exciting about the new proclamation.  Not gonna lie though my favorite moment was the new temples announced. I'm thrilled about Dubai and Shanghai. Sister Roberts and I stalked the area where the temple will be built in Dubai and it was really cool. Did our best to stay busy and productive the test of the day. 

I'm trying my best to keep my hope about me as I went through this week. Its been hard though for sure. We don't have any outlet really besides making hats or other crafting or cleaning. I'm nervous for the next week or so. We'll see what happens. Love you all!

Love

Sister Sydney Hanks

March 30th 2020 - I wish I had better things to report

Hello everyone, 

I'd like to clarify first as of this moment I am not coming home early. When I sent that email last week we had not recieved any news on shortening of missions or what could happen. I currently live in a constant state of unknown and it's driving me crazy. I am afraid to say this email is going to be rough and I'm not about to sugar coat things so read on if you wish if not don't worry about it. 

Monday as I noted last week we went bright and early again. Found out we lost several missionaries. 13 in total that sister Roberts and I knew. I was able to talk to my family for a while so that's nice. Other than that not too much else. 

Tuesday wasnt super eventful. Had district council over video chat so that was fun. I wasnt feel good so I fell asleep for a bit. Made friendship bracelets for all the missionaries in my district. A member brought is panada Express for dinner. YUM. Texted who we could for the remainder of the night. Yeah. 

Wednesday was probably the worst day I've had on the mission. I woke up not feeling the best physically and emotionally. We had a call to do family home evening as a zone. It was really fun. Sadly didn't last long and depression kicked in for me. I had zero motivation to do anything and I ended up a puddle mess on our couch for most the day. We watched the studio c face to face which perked me up a bit and then we had an active member lesson. Sadly it didnt last long. We ended up receiving news that transfers were being moved to Friday. Our transfer calls would come the following morning. My heart sunk. We called the Sisters and we all ended up crying. The unknown is one of my biggest fears and sadly I'm full fledge living in it right now. Everyday I hold my breath not knowing what's to come. I hit a point that I no longer want to be a missionary. I wanted to go home so badly. I still do a bit. 

Thursday was a bit better. We anxiously awaited news of transfers. To our relief we are not transferring. Our whole district is the same. Blessings. I then had a meeting with our mission therapist and it definitely helped me feel better. I had a renewed drive and some new tactics under my belt to help me. Wish they lasted longer. We went on a walk and picture 1 is of our new sandals we got. Sister wanlass, our mission mom, brought us chick fil a for dinner. She's seriously the best. We ended up just chilling and watching the face to face with Lindsey Stirling. 

Friday was kind of productive. I actually did my hair for the first time in a week. We ended up spending the day crafting. I worked on some more friendship bracelets and sister Roberts started making hats. Fun times. We luckily had a call with someone were teaching! Finally! The caulk's who we normally do service for brought us a bunch of food and goodies. So sweet of them. I made a hat! Picture 2 is of it. 

Saturday. Yeah lot of up and down with quarantine. Sister Roberts wasnt feeling good so she crashed in the couch for a bit. I ended up cleaning our apartment, washed my bedding, and worked on another hat. We sat and discussed a bit of our frustrations. Our mission does not have Facebook so all of our contacting is done just by calls or texts so we've been doing our best to stay productive. Sister hunter brought us some more yarn and church movies. So that was good. Picture 3 is of sister Roberts and I in our hats. 

Sunday was hard. We are still not allowed to take the sacrament so that's hard. Did come follow me with our zone which was really good. Crawled into our fort and worked on hats. I ended up passing out because I didnt sleep well. We have a bunch of damaged book of mormons so we are taking pages out and marking them before sending them out to people. Should be fun. Had corn beef hash for dinner. So good. Worked on hats and just worked to not loose our minds. 

Here we are at another p day. I'm sorry this email is not more uplifting. I'm trying so hard to stay positive but this is all so hard. I've never missed home as much as I do right now but I also know it won't be too much better back home either. Just a constant battle to stay sane. 

I hope you've all had a great week. Love you all!

Love,

Sister Sydney Hanks

March 23rd 2020 - Quarantined.....Who knew right?!

Hello outside world!

Well the subject should tell you quite a bit but all the same here's the update. 

Monday was just down right crazy. Picture 1 is of the bread we found and picture 2 is of one of the many empty shelves we saw. We called families and glad my family is doing good. We were still out so we visited a few people. One of our member's daughter got back from Spain barely before they closed things down. So crazy. 

Tuesday was a day. We had our district council over the phone which was interesting. We had lunch and sadly my stomach just hates me. We were out and about when super bad nausea hit. Rested in the car. Visited some people and members kept keeping us because they didnt want us out. Picture 3 was, what I didnt know, our last picture doing normal proselytizing. went to dinner with a new family that moved in. They made corn beef hash as it was saint Patrick's day. Really good. Sadly my stomach hated me and just not a fan of not having more updates from the outside world. Heart attacked some doors. Came home and I stressed cleaned. 

Wednesday was the day. We recieved the news of officially being quarantined but also the news of the 5.7 earthquake in Utah. I was able to call my family for a few minutes. Crazy they felt it a bit. Worked on making a new training video for the mission. We had lunch and then after we built a fort. Picture 4 in our fort. We just chilled and listened to our new CD for king and country. So good! Went to dinner at the mundt's. They entertained his by smashing things in this pressure smasher. It was fun. Came back and had a call with our zone. Well see how this whole quarantined thing goes. 

Thursday day 2 of quarantine. Got caught up on come follow me. We ended up completely reorganizing our area book which was a process. We got permission to call family every Thursday for 10 minutes. So I call my parents. It was so nice. Texted a ton of people. Went to Nancy's for dinner. I love Nancy. She made beef stew and then loaded us up with goodies and dinner for the next night. So sweet of her. Came home and moved our fort so it was more out of the way. Fun times. 

Friday day 3 of quarantine. Pretty productive day actually. Made muffins. We got our wifi router so we worked to set that up. Cleaned ALL the things. Picture 5 is of our clean fridge. Picture 6 is of me declogging the drain. Lovely. Had to call our wifi people and they had to send a tech to fix out wifi. I may or may not obsessively check the church newsroom a million times a day because it's our only source of news. That's when we found out about all missionaries being sent back to their home countries and that the time frame for serving is going to be shortened. I'll be coming home sooner than I thought I would. This all feels so unreal. Made dinner and watched the other side of heaven. The second movie better. We officially reached out to everyone in our areas. So yeah. Next few days will be interesting. 

Saturday was a bit hard. Sister Roberts wasn't feeling good so she went back to bed. I ended up doing more deep cleaning. I wiped down all the door frames, base boards, and hardwood floors. Rearranged our fort a bit. Yeah. We made bacon, eggs, and tater tots for lunch which was good. Delivered one of our couches to the elders. super fun. I straightened sister Roberts hair and the elders delivered some cool cups. Picture 7 is of that. We then watched 17 miracles which was good. Oh! We are no longer allowed to leave for dinners so the flakes brought us food. So nice of them. We are able to go out for 20 minutes twice a day so that's nice. That night we found out of many missionaries going home from our mission. My heart hurt so badly. I love so many of them! We were also informed that we cannot go take the sacrament and to wait until after transfers which is March 31. Least to say was really depressed after that. This week has been rough. 

Sunday was a meh day. I updated my journals and read more in the book of mormon. We then discovered the Joseph Smith papers podcasts on the church website so listened to those. Listened to the saints book a bit. Did family history for almost 2 hours just looking through our lines. Had people drop off food, the most recent ensign, and some yarn to make hats on looms. I then made a bunch of banana muffins. Picture 8 of them. Fun times. Just chilled after that. 

Here we are at Monday. Picture 9 is of us in line to get into Walmart. Picture 10 is the line got toilet paper and paper towels. Yes we got both so blessings. Picture 11 is us with, going left to right, me, Sister Walker, Sister Sherwood, sister fox, and sister Roberts. I helped sister Sherwood get the dr pepper so she was really happy. She leaves Wednesday though. Crazy. 

I never ever thought I'd deal with a pandemic on my mission. Every day brings something new. If anyone would like I'd love more world updates because I'm over not knowing. I'm able to check my emails every night so some uplifting, funny, anything at this point would really be nice. I'm not sure how long well be in quarantine for. I don't know when I'll be coming home and I don't know who of my friends are leaving. I know this is all in the lord's hands, but man do I wish I knew a bit more. 

I hope you are all doing great. I love you all and miss you so much. Keep on keeping on. 

Love,

Sister Sydney Hanks 

P.s. waiting patiently to maybe by some miracle be able to watch Disney movies. #notlikely #stillhopeful

March 16th 2020 - Pandemic.......the one thing I didnt think of

Hello!

So you're all probably anxious for this email and well you're gonna have to read the whole thing to find out more. 

Last p day was, what I didnt know, the last normal pday we'd have for a while. It was so fun. We went shopping and then did a last minute district activity at the bowling place. Pictures 1 and 2 are of us playing pool. I honestly don't remember what we did that night. Sorry don't have my journal so this'll be short. 

Tuesday was pretty good. We had district council and interviews which were good. Went out and just tried a bunch of people. Had a lesson with Gary which were working on prayer with so that's fun. Well that night while we were heart attacking we ended up locking the keys in our car. that was fun. Walked around and chilled till our vehicle coordinator saved us. 

Wednesday was when things hit the fan. I already woke up not feeling the best. We went to do service and the elders came in and told us we had to leave. they shut down all public service and that's when we looked at the church news and discovered the shut down of general conference attendance and large gatherings. We were floored. We ended up wandering for a bit and then I wasn't feeling good so we went back home. Picture 3 is of us while we were out. Went back out for dinner and then we went to mutual for a bit so that was fun. 

Thursday morning we made some doctors calls and went out for a little bit. We got some things figured out for our apartment. Pictruee 4 is of us loosing our minds. Weekly planned and then we got the news about church being suspended. Well then we waited to hear further news from our mission leaders. Went to dinner and the members are super worried for us. I got a bit overwhelmed and broke down that nif ht. not a fan of being shut off from the world. 

Friday morning we went to the doctor for lovely stomach issues I've got going. We went to service for maybe the last time. we'll see what happens. we then went to Walmart to get my antibiotic and Well it was a bit crazy. We were nervous.  We tried to go out and about but to be honest I shut down. So much going on and I broke down. We went to our mission leader and I got a blessing. We then went home and I crashed. 

Saturday was a bit of a turn around day for me. In the morning we called our office missionaries and they brought me some mail that had a natural supplement my mom sent that I used to take to help with my stress. It helped a bit and our zone leaders gave a great pep talk. We then went out and tried a ton of people. Super productive day. Visited some members and just so happy to have the support. If you have not watched the video from president Nelson GO WATCH IT! He dropped a major thing that after conference we will be focusing on the restoration in its fullness. That hit me hard! For me that made me realize that this whole virus thing is more than likely satan's tactic to try and shut down whatever is coming at conference. That's crazy to think about. I'm interested to see how the next few weeks go. 

Sunday was so weird. We weren't given permission for sacrament so it was a normal day. Well kind of. My stomach hated me all day so we did our best but were in most the day. So not much there. 

Here we are today. We were at the store at 6:30am to get supplies. They gave us extra money to do so. Most I've ever spent on the mission. Pictures 5 and 6 of our day. This is insane and we're all over it. We're doing all we can to stay positive but slowly loosing our minds. I hope everyone else is doing okay. Let me know your status. I love you all and pray for you every day. Survive the week and don't get Corona.

Love,

Sister Sydney Hanks 🤜🤛

March 9th 2020 - Birthday and other stuff

HELLO WORLD!

I hope you've all had a great week. Mine has been a little up and down. Read on for more.

Monday was a pretty good day. We got up and ready for the day. Stopped at Starbucks and got a secret menu lemonade drink. So good. Got a pep talk from our mission president which really helped. Went to Ross and got a new dress. Picture 1 is of the dress. I love it. I also go a shirt that says Be humble and rule the world. Walmart run. KFC for lunch. Tried a new mountain dew flavor sweet lightning. Its peach and honey. Really good. Called family and caught them all home together along with my grandma so that was nice. Heart attacked people's doors and just had a great day. 

Tuesday was pretty great. Listened to saints while getting ready. Went to district council and everyone sang happy birthday to me. fun times. Had lunch and sister Roberts and I bounded more. Her and I are gonna be friends for life for sure as I hope I'll be with everyone else I've met on the mission. Tried a bunch of people. Had dinner with a cute family. Suprised the kids, and myself, with my pokemon knowledge. Pictrue 2 is of this gorgeous picture they had. Visited an older lady named Linda who was going through a hard time. Moments like that I'm so glad I'm on a mission to help out these people. Came home and opened package from family. Picture 3 is of what all I got. Loved it all! 

Happy 25th birthday to me! Not the most eventful day but hey that's okay. Picture 4 is of me in my new dress. Made French toast for breakfast. Volunteered at st Vincent's. Got Costa vida for lunch. Yum! Went out and walked around because it was so nice. Visited a few people. Had dinner at the Goddard's and had roast and potatoes. So good. Went and crashed mutual for a little bit. Finished the night heart attacking doors. Overall pretty okay day. 

Thursday I sadly died. My stomach was not happy at all and I was up a lot through the night. Crashed for most the morning. Our zone leaders brought over Sprite and powerade which was so nice of them. Did weekly planning and then got ready to go out. Had dinner at the hunters, ward coordination meeting, and then visited Ed who updated us a bit on the Corona virus. Crazy things. 

Friday I was pretty exhausted but pushed through. Made muffins for breakfast. Went out and visited Linda again and then we were able to catch David at home. Got to share some of the restoration so that was great. I love reciting the first vision in lessons. It's so powerful. Had lunch then went to more to life for service. Love visiting with the people there. Started exchanges and I was with sister Daugherty in her area. Had two funny interactions with cats. Made my day! 

Saturday was crazy. Slept well so I was happy. Had a great morning. Went out and visited a bunch of people. Got to see their recent convert Royce who made us lunch. So sweet. Ended exchanges and went to dinner. Visited a few people and heart attacked some doors. Not a super eventful day. Oh! Actually some fun updates. People here, which I assume most places have, are freaking out over the Corona virus. So supplied such as toilet paper, water, paper towels, lysol wipes, and hand sanitizer are low. Its crazy. Luckily were good thanks to members. Hope everyone else is doing okay. 

Sunday daylight savings killed me. I was so tired. We were up and out the door pretty soon. Had meetings and then church. Both wards are on board for our idea with splitting the ward into areas and each area having a ward missionary over it. We're excited. Sister Roberts wasn't feeling good so we came back home so she could rest. Went out after a bit and tried some people. Had dinner with bishops family which was great. Tried a few more people then went to Gary's lesson. It was such a great lesson and we're excited that he's growing more in the gospel. Heart attacked some doors then went home. 

Overall survived the week. Sorry for lack of pictures. Didnt take that many. I hope you all are surviving the Corona virus! Have a great week! 

Love, 

Sister Sydney Hanks